Going under

I am having new brand of concern.. What is it call? Afraid for not getting married with a guy. People will NOT certainly getting married to their job. Because it may give them happiness but money cannot love you, cannot hear you, certainly cannot give you what human can give you.

Some people will call this concern as one type of useless concern as they might have a lot of scandal to begin with (i call it they don't have enough loyalty in their gene). You can scoff all you want. I do think about this as going on with my hobby. I love to watch anime and read manga/manhwa and sometime too absorbed then keep talking about it all the time!

I need to tell people that i love to social too but i am afraid they have this stereotype for a geek like me. Yupe, there i say it. I may not look like one, i am quite a geek myself. The proof is i have been criticize by my best friend to believe only that what i read rather than knowing it from others people. I still don't get it why she angry for what i say when i am the one to do the explaination. This is because i had a new turtle pet and we argue because of its food.  

I didn't do cosplay (eventhough i'm interested) and don't ask me why. I just can't. I look perfectly like simple human being but why people afraid to approach me? Do i look like some burglar or something. I have guys said to me i was harder to approach. Like you and your beloved celebrity. You can't just and meet them. What a big fuss about it because i am neither a celebrity or have any reputation. They just don't i think, i mean they don't just know people enough but still said something that can make them simply judge that person.

I don't want to shut people out and i sincerely do want to have a nice boyfriend. But i don't think they might consider me if they know about my likes and dislikes. *sigh* . -_-"

K happy ramadhan and happy fasting everyone..

Now i'm reading kamesama hajimemashita manga, nice cute adorable story with a lot of cute humor >_< hahaha~ 

New page = New me?

I finally finish my studies with a not-bad grade and most definitely an A for my research project paper.I deserve it.. My hard work and hard to pleased Supervisor made it more meaningful. Alhamdulillah

Now i need to think and review back my goal. How i'm gonna spend my whole life after this. This is suck.. I'm suck at making these serious plan. Some people had it easy, that is making me envy of them. For sure they didn't realize how lucky their life was.

I have so much insecurity in me that i don't need people to tell me that i was having these problem. You can call me names but i still won't give up despite having surrounded by all the negativity. I hope my family and friends can have much secure life and happy. 

How many more i need to endure to feel free? Do i need to struggle like Lee Yeon Jae in Scent of Women? Or just make it more troublesome by trying to find my dream guy and try to look pretty 24/7?!

I need to change.. Or do i?

P/s: my daily schedule..